"ecneloiv eganeet"...

if u dun understand, dun try.

*twinkle*

Weather Underground: Waiouru, New Zealand Forecast

Waiouru: 39.5° S 175.7° E [hmm....]

weather underground's a nice site. they've weather history for locations that can go back years.

New Zealand Rural Destination Guide - Waiouru - Desert Road

"In New Zealand the most striking near-desert experience you can have is on the road to Waiouru.

State Highway One winds through a bleak windswept tussock plain called the Rangipo Desert. This is a unique alpine semi-desert, with the forbidding appearance of a wild desolate wasteland. To the east it merges with the densely forested foothills of the Kaimanawa Ranges. To the west there is no horizon, as the landscape and sky are overwhelmed by the monumental outline of Mt. Ruapehu. Dark canyons and shadowy scree slopes tumble from the snow-capped peaks and merge with the indistinct landforms of the plain.

The majestic grandeur of Ruapehu is a powerfully moving sight especially on a clear day. It is well worth a photo stop to capture the changing moods of the mountain. Sometimes the peace and solitude is disturbed by armoured vehicles on manoeuvres near the ‘Desert Road’. Waiouru is home to the New Zealand Army’s largest military base. The training area parallels the highway for 35 km and extends from Ruapehu’s snowline to the Rangitikei River 30 km to the east.

Waiouru at 815 metres above sea level has ice-cold winters and stifling hot summers. The township consists of a small cluster of hotels, tearooms and service stations along the highway. There is one imposing concrete structure that catches the eye. At first sight this striking edifice, with rampant tanks guarding its entrance, lacks aesthetic appeal. Perhaps its fort-like appearance is appropriate for what really is an outstanding museum.
...
...
The wild, desolate places of the central Volcanic Plateau have a mystique and magic of their own. This shaky portion of the ‘Pacific Ring of Fire’ offers up some memorable landscapes"

monday, tuesday, wednesday, ...and thursday i fly

far away to Middle-Earth. [not so close to mordor, whatever odd 4 pointed odd-symbol-ed geopositional system they use]

29 January to 16 February.

Waiouru, New Zealand, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way

.G.R.I.E.F.

goodnight world, petering pattering rain, drip drop. Cloudburst.

Jan 25 Sunday 8am
Mars rover Opportunity expected to land on the red planet.

are these 4 days of chinese new year boring to you?
paternal, maternal, parents' friends.

in the future, we'll get to visit Our friends, gfs, bfs, in-laws. and then it'll be busy and packed. right now...

a drunk relative today...
should be the first time i've seen anyone drunk...
interesting.
curious how alcohol frees oneself and yet without oneself knowing.
addictions.drugs.

dun suppose anyone'll know what the timer points to

boring day, dug out Unreal Tournament 2003 and Warcraft III to play.

Macromedia Cold Fusion.

Scripts.

hmm. watched Peter Pan juz now. quite alright show.
loved the old British Victorian way the kids spoke in. somehow i like old english.
[being able to laugh over literature with matthew is a joy. like friends who like the same things, who recognises each other's lines, knows the meaning behind the words, like a memory brought alive. english literature sounds much happier than chinese, i don't know why. the chinese ones always sound so mechanical, so formal.]
girl-woman conflicts/transition
boy-man conflict
Never Never Land.
the first kiss.
i wonder, when you grow older, of adult age, when you look for love, do you still care about First Kiss, First Love. tremblings of the young hearts. it'll be hard to find those when you're nearing 30 years old.
why should we not love when we are young?
the time when we are most innocent, where love is least clouded over by money, positions, status, stability, age, responsibilities, scars. the time where kids love for the sake of loving, and love is found, discovered, learnt together.
Jeux d'enfants.
to put it in a bad light, the time when teens fool around with love, play around with partners, break up as easily as they form. where even a lost one doesn't seem that bad. ...?
the games of children.
Peter Pan.

*smile* is it me, or does this word look happy.

30 seconds advertisting slots during the last-ever episode of Friends on May 6 are going for US$2million apiece, bringing network NBC US$70million in revenue, a record for an entertainment show.

F-117 Nighthawk stealth fighter is expected to appear at Asian Aerospace in Singapore in late Febuary.

have ya reached ur Hundredth menstrual period yet?

"Apples, not caffeine, wakes you up the best."

[those things in the picture aint apples hor...]

One year in NS.

Lyrics for Laura Pausini - Loneliness [english version of La Solitudine]


I don't even know if he still thinks of me
Once he got on board that unforgiving train
I imagine that he whiled away the time
Through that cold grey morning and the city rain
Thinking of somebody else who'll run to him
Who'll ask him "did you miss me?", "maybe now and then"
Laughing he'll say well, he "met this funny girl"
But "just a summer think" he won't see her again
Oh, God! I hope I'm wrong but I'm not feeling very strong
I've been so up and down, so sad, so happy, feeling good and bad
I'm young, I'm old, I laugh, I cry
I tell the truth, but that's a lie
I've been so in and out, so wild, so well behaved, so pure defiled
Oh, solitudine! That word I hate to say
And no, I was not crazy to do what we did
I even wish I'd been a bit more crazy still
And kept a little more of him to see my through
He loved me all he could, I never had my fill
And then I'm back inside my room, he knows so well
I fell again the way he moved I take it slow
I talk to him and he becomes part of me
And then I know he'll never let the summer go
Oh, God! I hope I'm right I won't give in without a fight
And I can take the words they throw at me
For none of them could know that we had something
Very few will ever find their whole life through
I wouldn't change a single day
Although the price I have to pay is solitudine
The loneliness is tearing me apart, it tears me up
It pulls me down and then it wraps around my heart
Does he remember all he said to me?

tradah! after a long arduous mindboggling tinkering with hypertext markup language, this odd thing finally materialized. feedback please... lalala.

a kinda daze recently...
a deep, silent, pensive sadness
giving up hope with the world, coming rather close to leaving
a perplexed incomprehension with the surroundings, and my ownself
why does the world suddenly look so different this year

do you know that half of january is over?
which is also 1/24 of a year
which is also 5% of 2004
did i count correctly, i know i did
our roughly 80yrs of lifespan

keep track..keep track..

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,5-2003572228,00.html

before they remove the link... take a look. LOTR pictures...

what did i want to say...

Ah.
Airport
Changi International Airport
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~::~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:

The airport. The eastern tip of the island. The end of the expressway. Out of the way. Far off. Distant.

Are airport sad places or happy places or neutral places?
a place to bid farewell, to say goodbyes.
and yet to welcome back in hugs the loved ones from afar.

when i was young, and i saw the people sprawled out all over the departure lounge viewing gallery... i had the impression these were bad kids who hung ard in public places. but of course the impression has changed somewhat. found out that the world out there is so inhospitable, so commercial. public space is mainly used for business. noise, crowds, hawkers. the airport presents a comparatively tolerant and soothing atmosphere. the quiet gallery, dark comforting, a refuge from the world. from home. for those who do not find homes welcoming.

why would people want to go to the airport. a mainly utilitarian building, so out of the way, so sad a place.
but where can troubled souls go?

the incessant noise of the shopping districts is disgusting. the exorbitant price tag on every single object in sight just makes one wonder if everything has a price. can peace be only found at home, in parks(tho singapore's parks...), in spas...

-

planes.
fly.

the airport is a sacred place.
when very young, kids just wanna fly for the sake of it. coz it's fun. coz planes go vroom, coz planes are big, coz anything that flies is wonderful, coz it means holidays overseas, fun fun stuff.
when not so young, like now, we want to get away. to go to our dreams. to fly away. to break free. towards the sky. dreams.
when old, ...old... , too old for dreams, the planes are just a shadow of a regret, business dealings, family holidays, meaningless routine trips, no more excitement and no more magic.

and also when young, we have not formed the deep emotional bonds that tie us to a place, a person. have not met the bf, gf, close friends, bunch of friends, various friends, marriage. still independent in our dreams, in our wants.
so there.

how interesting.

airport. planes. viewing gallery.

so fortunate we have a busy airport, which made so much difference to our lives. we grew up in an international city, an open world. yar. instead of a secluded town. with a tiny airstrip. with an airport that opens for planes to land.

the airport. and why we go there.

refuge. escape. solitude. dream.

thank luck, fate, for people who can understand the english language, who can understand my words, who can find meaning in phrases more than 3 words long.
thank for those who i speak to, and can understand, no matter if they agree or not. agreement is only the character, understanding is the skill.

and then too, i find out that life for some people, are not really worth much. TV, movie, food, shopping, magazine, TV, TV, TV, vcds, sleep, puns, pitiful jokes, lame teasing, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, handphones, handphones, friendster, arcade games, neopets, soccer, TV, sleep. that just about sums up some people's lives. sadly. regretfully. apologetically.

is life worth much?

and then again, perhaps i have lived in too high circles without binoculars.

have you encountered a person, who's goal in life is to be a truck driver?
have you encountered people, who's idea of life after ORD, is to search the Classifieds for a part-time or full-time job.
jobs which we take up while waiting for school to start, can be a serious and real outlook for them.
have you seen them, who know that they get paid more if they stay on in army, compared to if they go out and work for a while.

i find. that it is cruel to rule. to decree with the underlying insinuation that people cannot or refuse to think for themselves. i have always utterly shunned from putting people on a lower intellectual level than me. i wish to treat all my friends equally, respectfullly, as was possible in RI. but in JC, it changed, there were those who were so hopeless in character that i could not delude myself to continuously believing they were capable of better. i truthfully do not like people saying im smart, or smarter, or whatever. it was something i grew up with, in RI, in JC. it is just so irritating. it was just sickening to hear that dreaded phrase 'creme de la creme'. perhaps then, everyone around me were good, everyone were like comparable. but it's just so sickening to be looking at other people and having to admit differences. i did not choose to grow up this way. what if we just stayed as gay country follk.

went to drop in on my sister's sec1 campfire. a neighbourhood sec sch. the principal, a moderate age but abnormally bubbly woman, was speaking. the whole setup had this rather childish air abt it. she treated them like small children. i don't know if i can rem my own experience correctly, but it was rather different in RI. perhaps the school, the sprawling campus, the stately timbers, the general atmosphere at RI was more respectful towards the students. different styles. different upbringings. categorization. expectation. nuture.

just like they treat different batches differently in BMT.

i suppose Osama was brought up differently. i don't suppose he had any other choice in his environment.

i didn't used to be so bitter, cynical, depressive, morbid, fatalistic.

i miss myself. the old me, when i was still in school. when i was happier without these nonsense.

i miss myself. too.

i'm bored.

yar, just bored lor. what else.

life is boring. NS is boring. it is utterly amazing to see a huge organisation so devoid of life and enthusiasm. a whole bunch of people so apathetic, so languid, so oppressed, so pessimistic, so cynical. people who on normal days, in normal work, can be so very different.
with such a huge group, it can't be that so many people are wrong, and the few up there are right. how wrong can we be?.

and what comes of this. it all boils down to a simple objective that the army, the men, must be present. must be. for deterrence. that's all. boys growing into men; independence; leadership; bonding; maturing; inter-racial mixing; hardship experience. all are but a secondary, tertiary, quaternary objective/side-objective/pseudo-objective/self-deluding-objective.

the tirade is endless, the timeline infinite.

if we are a strong, cohesive, high morale, well-disciplined, effective, efficient force to be reckoned with... ... *cynical smile* ... then i seriously wonder about other armies.
i mean, our force of draftees dun exactly look very committed to our responsibilities.

hah.

-

mylastemail.com

might be useful for some people

Straits Times Dec 2003
Quoteworthy
'It did not fit well in their mouths, it got their hands dirty and it caused problems for their mothers. This is why I had the idea of putting it on a stick.'
- Mr Enric Bernat Fontlladosa, explaining why he invented the Chupa Chups lollipop, now the world's best-selling lollipop, in 1958. He died last week at age 80


longer one in Sunday Jan 04, 04 papers...

What's sexy? It's on the lips or the hips... - JAN 4, 2004

those who dun read Straits Times...tsk. who says its a boring paper.
anyway, yar here's an article on a book which...ah-hem...claims that chests resemble buttocks and lips represent labia..., "brassieres and red lipstick accentuate this visual mimicry of the female sexual organs."
sexual organs being depicted on frontal visual portions of body to attract mates and such..
interesting thing.

a gift of flowers:

Daffodils

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed--and gazed--but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth

Existential Depression

hah, remembered a term of old...existential depression. something i used to describe myself.
am i depressed? i think i suffer from bouts of depression. mania.
according to today's newspapers, insanity is a legal term and means u're not in control of urself and cant be blamed for ur actions. i don't think i have reached that level yet, sadly.
depression.

existential depression. i wanted to not exist. not just die. not exist. never ever have existed or affected anything in the world.

Straits Times Dec 31, 2003

LONDON - Want to buy a largish island off France? Slightly used, with annex. Rains a bit. Trains often late. Nice gardens. Food dubious, but lots of places to drink.

Yours for under £5 trillion (S$15.1 trillion).
If the 58.8 million occupants ever care to sell, that is.
The Office for National Statistics (ONS) whipped up a price tag for the United Kingdom - that is Britain, comprising England, Wales, Scotland, plus Northern Ireland - in a year-end tally of the nation's capital assets.
The precise figure is £4.98 trillion, or £84,760 for every man, woman and child as of April 2001.
For the price of Britain, one could buy 6,200 Millennium Domes, 8,800 B-2 Stealth bombers or 199,000 David Beckhams.
The figure includes the UK's physical assets - such as all its buildings, vehicles, machinery, bridges, roads - and other assets like patents, computer software, shares and money in individual bank accounts. The amounts are based on 2002 data.
The study is used to help economists predict future growth and is more detailed than previous reports, the BBC said.
'We found that £5 trillion was the current market value of the United Kingdom, including the value of the land,' said ONS statistician Ian Hill.
'That's risen a lot over the last few years because property prices have shot up.'
The housing boom has resulted in residential homes making up 55 per cent of the total, up from 44 per cent in 1994, the BBC reported.
The £2.7 trillion contribution is twice the figure 10 years ago.
The second-biggest price tag - £565 billion - is attached to commercial and public buildings, while civil engineering infrastructure such as roads, railways and pipelines are valued at £537 billion.
Manufacturing has remained static since 1998 with a value of £200 billion.
But the massive rise in the country's value will give little comfort to the government and, particularly, Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown, as he crunches ever-larger borrowing figures at the Treasury.
The BBC said the government was well in the red, with a net worth of minus £124 billion after deducting the national debt and other obligations.
The estimate is the first of its kind in terms of detail from the ONS, a government agency, and is based on a 'more robust system' of analysing data, Mr Hill said. -- AFP

from the movie Serendipity. silly movie, but not that bad altogether.
: "

Dean:
Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiance. He was thirty-five years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit for his long, reputed soul mate; a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, it is a tapestry of events that culminate into an exquisite, sublime plan. Ask about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. Things were clearer for him, Kansky noted. Ultimately, Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe we must all possess a powerful faith, of what the ancients used to call fatum; what we currently refer to as destiny. "

Sun 4 Jan 10:00 PM
Jupiter is stationary in right ascension. Westward (retrograde) motion commences at this time.

Mon 5 Jan 2:00 AM
The Earth is at perihelion -- its closest point to the Sun, at 0.983 astronomical units or 91,400,177 miles.

He who stays happiest longest into the new year, wins.
As for me, I already lost. 'fore clock struck one.

bad omen to bad start of bad year of bad life

2004