ALL of this post from the book Le Père de nos pères, by Bernard Werber.

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<Ce que je pense,
Ce que je veux dire,
Ce que je crois dire,
Ce que je dis,
Ce que vous avez envie d'entendre,
Ce que vous croyez entendre,
Ce que vous entendre,
Ce que vous avez envie de comprendre,
Ce que vous comprenez,
Il y a dix possibilités qu'on ait des difficultés à communiquer.
Mais essayons quand même...>>

"Encyclopédie du savoir relatif et absolu" Edmonds Wells
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je sais à quel moment est apparu le premier homme. je sais pourquoi, un jour, un animal s'est mué en un être à l'esprit tellement complexe qu'il est capable désormais de fair l'amour le sexe enveloppé de plastique, de regarder la télevision quatre heures par jour et de s'entasser volontairement avec des centaines d'individus dans les rames de métro sans air.

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title of a magazine article: "L'homosexualité est-elle un gène héréditaire?"
.
.
"Euh... Un gène héréditaire? ... il me semble que les homosexuels ne se reproduisent pas."

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could you guess where this picture was taken? could you?
it's one of my favourites, enlarge it willya.

si, la vie est en rose, comme la fille 

sometimes i forget how beautiful it was. a UNESCO World Heritage site. if only i could show you all the photos

sometimes i don't understand how i shoot, don't understand how despite not being in control of the bow, despite not having the strength to keep the sight within the target sheet, despite wavering insanely, the arrows can still land much more accurately that i would have bet on.
the body does things that the mind knows not of

i dont see how i am going to reach 3 full rounds of controlled shooting. could only do 1 controlled round today. but perhaps i need more sleep. unfortunately my body started to adjust to 5-6 hr sleeps. i cant believe it did it, but damn i dont want it.

and i've got fantastic armguard tan lines. crap.

yesterday night i walked back to my room, amidst the silence, the solitude, the cool air, feeling a peace which i didn't know was good or bad. it was like The End, it was like the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the month, the end of it all. like the hectic week has finally come to a pause, like i've finally taken a breath after forgetting that i'm breathing. it was like all was done and one has almost finished packing up, with one hand on the door handle, with half a mind on the shadows of the room which hide the stories that must not be forgotten.
it was like Feeling, instead of Thinking, it was as if i've finished all the work that could be done in the world and regretfully have to leave.
it was like everyone had long gone, had already cleared their artifacts, were already out yonder partying. i hope they remember.

Adieu.

somehow they started teaching so fast that i can't even finish reading the powerpoint slides before they click through them. and i don't understand why must they cram so much into one module such that even 4 hrs worth of lecture a week isn't enough.

so long since i've put up photos from france. but these are not from my camera. Lake Annecy near the Alps. it was only recently that i realised, from the maps, how big the lake actually is.


does gackt's hair look nicer?, or Cloud's? i suppose so.


i like their sailing boats. white sails against the green mountains and blue sky and blue water, and cool lake wind.

that's what i'll do for the rest of my life: lie down and trail my feet in cool lakewater.



=]

imagine the Wheel of Fortune voice saying that: "Category: Phrase". ok nvm

the phrase is:
"how odd of those (who)..."

the problem is that i cannot remember where i heard it from, or where it appears, or what the complete sentence is. or some similar structure.
ack.

ooh, Far Eastern Economic Review has a nice website eh.

another insane conversation. i dont know how it started, but it's just on Luck. and what's so interesting about luck, what's considered lucky, is it right to say that you feel lucky, or that something happened due to luck, does luck exist?

[1]
absolutely tickled by 'lucky draw'. here's why:
if in a lucky draw, which is fully random and unbiased, the winner would have had absolutely no control nor influence over the results of the draw, and seeming which, the result that he has won could be claimed to be due to luck that it happened to him instead of all the other people. it could just as well have happened to any other person. *1
but if i look at it from another angle, and i say that in this 'lucky draw' which i am going to conduct, i do not know who is going to win, but definitely someone in this bunch will win, and i can say with 100% certainty, that the win will go to one of these people, and therefore 'luck' will appear/occur/happen. except that i do not know who amongst them will be the one. and if the draw happen to be amongst only 2 participants, then i can even narrow the 'luck' occurence to between 2 people. or if one of the 100 participants sent in 99 entries, he will have 50% of probability of winning, or 50% of being the 'lucky' one to win, whereas the other 99 people will have only 1 in 198 chance of being lucky. i just find it extremely hilarious.

*1 then again, if i look at it from the organiser point of view, the event that this person won the draw can not be said to be the luck of the person, because there was a statistical chance of him winning, and he has not yet violated or deviated from the distribution. only when this person happens to win in the random 'lucky draw', in the same group of participants, with more than the statistically predicted frequency, would he be considered to be, perhaps, 'lucky'.

[2]
and if something happens in your life, to make you say that this must be because i am lucky, you must also show that it happens to you more often than other people, for it to be really lucky. after all, an event, no matter how improbable, must happen to someone. like striking Toto twice or thrice. and it's not really lucky if you buy Toto repeatedly. it must, happen to you more often than predicted, given the number of times which you are in the position to receive it.
if, for example, one 'lucky' thing happens to you, like chancing upon a $50 note on the ground. and it happens to everyone once in 5 years. so everyone thinks that this 'lucky' event happens to them when it happens. but overall, there isn't any luck involved.

Et puis la terre
link to You-tube video

i love the video, the song, the raw feeling, and the absolutely lovely singing. if only all the 'love songs' in the world had more class.
actually i better explain the video: many many french singers raising funds for the tzenami victims. yup.

..au coeur qui bat.... =]

http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapour
rather amusing page.

"Les pratiques sexuelles appelées par le gouvernement comme contre nature sont illégales. Il s'agit de l'héritage de lois britanniques de l'époque victorienne n’ayant pas été révoquées après l’indépendance. On y trouve la pratique du sexe oral si elle n’est pas suivie de pénétration vaginale, la pénétration anale et l’homosexualité masculine. L’homosexualité féminine, d’après le Code pénal singapourien, semble tolérée. Dans l'ensemble, la société semble plus tolérante que ses lois. La rigueur de cette législation semble d’autant plus surprenante que Singapour est une ville ouverte aux influences extérieures et avec une communauté gay influente et organisée."

oops forgot to translate it:
female homosexuality, based on the Penal Code, seems to be tolerated.
generally speaking, the society seems more tolerant than the laws.

1. girl in lecture. wearing horizontal zebra black/white stripped top with white halter bit, and pink miniskirt, and black stockings with pink polka dots (either stockings or tights). she looks rather idiotic.

2. girl walking down the stairs, wearing black top with purple lace trimmings and purple ribbon, interesting

3. YIH canteen. i think this guy 'choped' seat with a 30cm screwdriver. you can see it there beside him. why would someone go to lunch with a 30cm screwdriver and nothing else. biz-zare.

Moments:
- when the lecturer was fiddling with the program to demonstrate some code to us, and the putty client crashed. and he just smiled at us and shrugged, and said "end of lecture". it was really funny to see that guy do something so cute. he's usually boring and such, though a good-hearted and nice prc.

- when i sorta missed doing Organic Chem. even though yes it's hell to memorise. but i guess it was fun (perhaps coz i could do it). or perhaps it's just melancholia, where everything in the past was nice, no matter pleasant or not. the bits of un-relivable history.

- when the i saw ridgeview squirrel on the table outside, and it scampered onto the tree, and i went over, and we starred at each other for awhile, before it ran further away. perhaps you can spot it in the photo taken outside connor's rm.

- when i draw my bow and my left arm is under so much strain i dont know if it'll just collapse; when i walk and i fear of my legs giving way and falling down the stairs; when im not really sure of myself, of my existence

Thoughts:
does it seem like the indo haze and the nuclear test came at about the same time? do you think they were trying to use the haze to try and cover n.korea so that others wont be able to see the test site.

blogfest i seem to be on. well. here goes another:

-
today at Arts canteen. alone eating dinner1.
it felt rather nice, the entire setting. my orange coloured carrot-apple juice, my yellow plate, body feeling cool because i just came out of the library. and at the table in front of me, sits a pretty girl, back facing me, holding in her hands a set of lecture notes, liberally highlighted in yellow and orange, like mine. "oxygen transfer", "solubility of oxygen in water", "choice of stirrer". and i think, only here in the universities would pretty girls be studying insane stuff, like how does the choice of the stirrer affect oxygen solubility, and only here would it be acceptable to be mugging all the time, and not be viewed with disdain, nor ostracised.
and to my left, an expanse out into the great distance. a distance so far away that it is fogged up and unclear. and which, as if knowing that I am thinking of it, sends a caressing breeze. a dream of a journey of a distance. it is all so unreal.

-
and some moments later, these two ppl appear and tries to solicit for participants for a *some finance/investment* workshop. and then so i let them sit down and tell me about it, since im in a good mood. so blah blah. and then i read their flyer. and the guest of honor is some Bsc(Hons) Real Estate, and im like why is this person coming, what qualifications does she have. and blah blah. and i questioned them where is their ~"entrepreneurship society", is there a location, a 'shopfront', a webpage, a proper contact, instead of a Alvin something hp number, instead of two unidentified ppl walking around selling stuff, instead of a flyer without the organisation name. and so i gave them some politely phrased recommendation to improve on their credibility. haha. i feel so good. diaoz ppl. i bet they din expect to approach me and instead get scolded back, politely.

-
today's a 17, which is good.

mrt lines turned red. now i know why they have photo manipulation in camera, for this kind of competitions, nah.


the missing mooncake that never was. i din eat many for this year's MAF. just like that. empty.


earring. not much significance, just nice focus for once.


what i submitted for the theme "Faces". buddha in the mirror.






misc stuff. roses and fruits at a supermarket. weight and fortune-telling from a very old machine. and somebody being somebody. [and that's not my real weight!!, it was me with my bag and stuff. im a few newtons lighter]

cute! some dunno-what inspiration made me go look for animals to put on my desktop. and jx remember the sheep from long ago. it's a very very old program, but it's small and it works and it's cute enough.
somehow sheep can still appear when the shutdown window is up.

voila. a strand of half-white hair yanked out by Jx, from My head.
question now is whether it will turn totally white. what do you think? will it? now that it's out of the head.
my idea is that since white hair is supposedly Dead, it shouldnt be affected by the presence or absence of the body and thus will continue to turn white.
wonders.
waits and see.




Powertoys: discovered a small and simple program to resize photos and all that. too hard to upload 2-3mb photos all the time.

went with jx to take a look at the interior of Ministry of Sound. coz i got free ticket, haha. well. the place seems smaller than i thought, but then they actually have many other rooms separated off. can u see the two cages in there? and the super packed main area. those hanging mannequins are useless.
i actually bought bacardi breezer at a price cheaper than 7-11. 2 for $12 compared to $6.35. astonishing.
but then, as usual, neither of us can drink much.
ah well, that's all. the place is too filled with cigarette smoke and noise, yucks.

Festival des film français.
im absolutely in love with the french. bleh. huh. nah. went with jx to watch Fauteuils d'Orchestre at The Cathay. It just makes me happy. For no reason. I like overhearing the french accent in the couple collecting their tickets beside me. I like entering the theatre and seeing them greeting each other with kisses (which were rather loud coz it's quite quiet). I like overhearing nice french. I like hearing Everything spoken in french. I like the seeing the "Canal" on the screen. I like Mint Cordial, I Must order it someday, and sit on the sidewalk, and not think about how much it costs. I like.
the movie costs $10 tho. even on a monday night.

Bought some pretty scrapbooking paper from this nice shop at Plaza Singapura. Made With Love. expensive stuff. but really pretty designs. sample

Went to visit the Lego shop there. and wow they have the 2006 catalogue, it's been many many years since i've been collecting the catalogues, back when i used to buy alot. =] the shop sells individual Lego people at exorbitant prices. i wonder how much real spare parts cost.

i think it's tellable that this 'blog' is rather bizarre. so here's something else:
(i can't help it that weird things come to my mind, and ... well... judge for yourself)

Statistics on Marriages and Divorces 2005.pdf
from the Singapore Department of Statistics

with particular reference to:
Table A1.23, document page 34, pdf page 44.
Marriages under Women's Charter by Religion of Grooms and Brides, 2005

i wanted to see if there are more marriages within religion as compared to inter-religion, or perhaps, how strong is that association.

calculations:

Total number of same-religion marriages: 13340
Percentage of same-religion marriages across all religions:
13340/19402% = 70.1%

- within Christianity = 2625*2/(3859+3818)% = 68.4%
- within Buddhism = 6575*2/(8239+8556)% = 78.3%
- within Taoism/Confucianism = 786*2/(1330+1444)% = 56.7%
- within Hinduism = 581*2/(670+788)% = 79.7%
- within 'Other Religion' = 186*2/(601+423)% = 36.3%
- within 'No Religion' = 2587*2/(4346+4013)% = 61.9%

conclusion? the two are probably non-independent. but i wasn't able to compare it to the random rates of same-religion marriages based on religion distribution of the population.

---
particularly surprised that 'normal' marriages are under Women's Charter. hm. pourquoi.
and also that muslim marriages are under Administration of Muslim Law Act.
'normal' divorces are then under Family Court and muslim divorces under Syriah Court.
hm hm hm
---
sidenote:
that cool pdf file will return you the link to the hosted file whenever you try to Copy/Ctrl-c anything in the file. hm

Jianhui needs attention needs love needs care needs help needs saving needs friends needs death i mean you do believe me right. I mean, i'm depressed i'm sad i'm dejected i'm frustrated i'm such a failure i'm worthless i'm insignificant i'm unimportant i'm neglected i mean you would think so right. what if i do not know what im doing in life i do not know where i'm heading i do not know what i'm working towards i do not know what's my goal in life i do not have any sense of purpose i do not feel any worth in living you would not let me kill myself right. and if life was such a pain if love such an ache if smiling such a chore if talking such a bother if sleeping such a worry if existing such a catastrophe you would i know you would still tell me to continue on, right.

and what of today.

encountered some bothersome drivers on the road today. i still do not enjoy driving, but it was okay to drive today, smoothly enough.

played blackjack at archery. but cant get any nice scores coz my shooting was so crappy today. din feel like my left arm could take the weight, din feel like i had any grouping (other than 4 nice close ones). ah well. all off.

did some window shopping at Marina Square. havent been out in such a long long time. Singapore still looks foreign to me, havent seen it properly since i came back. will i have time soon... i wish
if only i could go and watch Films. if only i could stop being busy and sleep

Joseph's birthday party. i'm glad he enjoyed it. i wonder what i would be happy with, i guess i have different desires, and im hard to please. i wish i were simple minded. i wish the world was simply round.

Connor and.
surreal photo by JX

crab-hole, also by JX. i like to fill them up with sand =p

MAF. so sparse. so few familiar faces. so so few. it's only been 4 years, how much longer can we last. i wonder again. but at least towards the end there were a few people. so perhaps the annual appointment was not a waste.

i like the angle

cool photo right. the hazy night and all. nice lighting.
that's me


and 11pm murtabak. i couldnt finish my food, such a rare occurencce.

"Had we but world enough, and time,"
the first line of Andrew Marvell's poem To His Coy Mistress, sounds so pretty, i so love how literature sounds
link

7.10am in the morning. awake so early coz the darn CA is at 8am. and i saw this little darling having it's papaya breakfast. a permanent resident in the area, saw it in the tree before. so cute. and i was quite near it coz i stay on the 4th floor

[that's the girl's toilet on the upper left, if you click open it up and zoom in, you can see someone primming herself in the mirror, heh]

what if a lecturer asks "do you guys think it's scary to learn XXXXX?" and then follows with "do you know it's scarier to have to teach it"

what if a prof replies to an email in 17 mins
what if the last line says "i will not ask you to calculate probabilities discussed above"
will you smile an overjoyed smile, or a wry smile, or be disappointed

what if the sea disappeared, like today, not visible anymore. and you look out, and there is only a blank whiteness, as if Death has come, as if your eyes are closing, as if life is ending, as if in your dying moments the world is fading away

what if bus after bus is full and you can only get on the 5th bus

what if the lecturer lapses into unintelligible mumbles of Chinese accent.

what if i havent seen the stars in months, do i need to count them all over again

what if the day ends tonight, and there will no longer be another like it, would you treasure the glance of every pretty girl, the waft of every perfume, the dampness of every nascent flower, the buzzing of every bee, the sweetness of the honeydew, the feeling of waking up, every sensation every thought every enlightenment every blink every possible word

what if the world was yours, what dream would you dream

in the canteen, surrounded by so many PRCs. saw one guy studying a postit list of english vocab. not bad words, some of which i've forgotten even.

excessively strong PRC presence around. is it because
-i'm gotten unused to it after the long holidays
-of europe
-it's sem1 and there are ?more foreign students
-they've just came to singapore and haven't neutralised their accent yet

wonders what the other countries think of singaporeans. budden there are so few of us. budden we are so like everyone else in the world.

*determined* to not speak french weirdly. as much as i can. about time i start learning vocab like what that guy was doing.

1. it rained. and i realised i can walk to the exam hall from my room in 5mins, sheltered all the way. cool

2. the test sux. i forgot many names. *merde*

3. i did not realise how much i miss having french lessons, ohmy. anyway at 21yo, im learning names of animals, mwahaha.

4. shooting was not bad today. though i felt rather tired. maybe it's nighttime, maybe i'm tired from the tests. nice to see a splat in the yellow circle from far.

5. my room is clean.

6. warning: R21 http://www.notam02.no/~hcholm/altlang/ht/French.1.html

in an absolute daze now. i can't wait to be done with enzymes.

more things that came to mind:

-Root Beer float in big glass mug with icecream waffles with curly fries, at AMK A&W (where jx claims to have met her love of her life)

-that i clean forgot about my time in NS.
-that i spent days sitting on the steps, at dawn, enjoying Time

-of watching the rain clouds attack science library